Bringing Sexy Back in Time- September 2nd, 2011

***Note*** Favorite title ever.  That is all 🙂

First line provided by @WritersDigest:

START: Little did anyone know that Justin Timberlake was not only a singer–he was also a superhero needed to save the world.

It’s not much of a secret, as Mr. Poe knew.  You just had to pay attention to his lyrics.  He uses his singing talents to travel the world and find injustices that need to be righted.

He practiced and practiced comedic sketches that would have villains die of laughter, but it wasn’t enough.  He was tormented by the fame he had as a musician, but he didn’t have enough fans to back him up as a superhero.  He started dating Cameron Diaz so he would lose popularity as an icon, but it got worse.  A world on the brink of total destruction from a lack of sexy. It was on the pop icon to bring it back.  Alas, the crippling consumption picked up in his trip to the ’50s rendered him bedridden for at least, say, three weeks.  And after three weeks he emerged from his bed stronger and with a greater sense of purpose.  His alter ego fueled his confidence and allowed him to hide in plain sight, in places around the globe.

Much to Justin’s chagrin, his nemesis, Busty Spears, was at large. He then exchanged his jeggings for tights.  And then it hit him.  He would invent shoes that could burn lasers from an acapella pitch and he could use his dance moves to find his targets.  

Yes, he thought, I need minions.

And then Justin had an idea. He put on the white glove that had given HIS hero power, the white glove.

HEADLINE: “Busty Spears Vows to Steal the “Sexy” From Girls Abroad by Lacing Lip-gloss with Poison”.

To the J-Mo-Ped!

Just then, Michael Jackson appeared and said to him, “Showing how funky and strong is your fight.”

After MJ boarded the Mo-Ped with flux capacitor they took off for Busty in a flash of caped-bling and boots.

While time traveling, he landed in a group of agitated colonial men who needed just one more signature to declare independence.

But one man with the most luxurious wig and tights said, “But you are no monarch or priest!”

Then Justin replied, “But in the vast lands of ballad and chorus I own much property and my subjects are great.”

“Plus,” Justin added, “I wanted to star in Captain America, but I didn’t make the cut because I’m just not ripped enough.”

With his time travel, insecurities and pop culture references, we can only hope he retains the time to fight some damn crime.

“So be it,” said the man, “Will you humor us then with song and dance?” He handed him the quill.

“I’ll sing if you wish.” But finding no electrical outlet for his auto-tune device he decided it best to just sign the document.

Everyone cheered as independence was declared.  The citizens of the newly independent colony then nominated Justin to write the new national anthem.

“It’s all good,” Justin replied. “I’ve really given up singing for the time being. I want to be a Marvel super hero!”

And with that, he set out on a quest for a master comic book collector who could instruct him in the ways of super powers.

Justin continued to travel through time.  He landed in an open field where he found an odd man with a kite.  It was pouring rain.

“As you’re flying a kite in the rain, tie this key to the string and see what happens.” said Justin.

“Thanks!” said Ben Franklin.

Thus, Busty Spears defeated and independence declared, MJ and Justin danced their Anthem wearing Go-Go boots

Justin was shocked to learn that his young arch enemy Justin Beiber was planning the world’s destruction for the year 2012.  Justin Beiber was also a time traveler.  He had lived with the Mayans a while before jumping to the 21st century.  Justin Bieber was determined to end the world in 2012, as the Mayans had predicted.  Justin Timberlake had to stop him.

Justin moved forward in time, before there was a YouTube or Facebook.  His master plan now was to be the founder of Facebook and YouTube.  He had to disguise himself though, because he had much to do in the 21st century.  Much to do.

His plan implemented, Justin Timberlake became richer than Bill Gates and Donald Trump combined.  He could have just arranged to win the lottery, but this was SO much more fun.  However he stayed focused.  He had traced Justin Bieber’s movements and contacts; he knew it was a crazed fan that would blow up the world in 2012.  When Justin Bieber uploaded his first video on YouTube, Justin Timberlake quickly had it removed, thus squashing the plague known round the world as “Beiber-fever” before it began.

JT patted himself on the back for his ingenuity, and then decided to go back in time and invent the Snickers bar. He was hungry.

Justin said, “They say the sky’s the limit, to me that’s really true… because I’m bad, you know it.”

All the fame going to his head, JT’s ego became so big he had to fight a superhero battle against himself…he lost.

THE END

Contributors to this week’s #storyfriday are (in order of appearance):

@WritersDigest @_gina_c @pixiesnstardust @AlManzanoI @gruxita @BrandonBuckner @thisismrle @yourvervemag @pamjcoleman @eXpoGrp @shastamerlot @FrankieFinley @TheChenaultGrp @Banders319 @pritchett2smith @LiveWriteLove @One4TheBooks @IRLMorris @VaChicklet @KBRWriting

Minor editing (punctuation, capitalization, etc.) was done before this story was posted, to allow for easier reading.  No words were removed from or added to this story after its original posting on Twitter except where indicated with red and then only to promote continuity in the story.

Ok guys, sorry I’m behind again.  More #storyfriday coming, I promise!

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